I am so grateful for the honesty of the Psalms. Sometimes when I talk to God–not pray what I think I should pray but just talk straight from my heart–I can be pretty conflicted in my feelings. Sometimes I do not feel like God is in control. Sometimes I do not feel like God is just. Sometimes I feel like there are more people against me than for me. Sometimes I feel forgotten and abandoned and overworked and underappreciated! Alas! The Psalmist felt the same. And God in his sovereign wisdom and holiness decided to include those prayers, too, in holy scripture.
I can relate to Psalm 39. I often have to just bite my tongue to keep from saying things I should’nt say–sinning! I can relate to wanting to know the number of my days. I often say, “Lord, you can come anytime! This life is hard and I am growing weary!” As the psalmist says in verse 4, this life is fleeting. And sometimes, if I am honest, I feel like the Psalmist in verse 13. Sometimes the burden of what I know God wants me to do seems to great. I wish I could forget it! This is what I think the psalmist means when he sayd, “turn your gaze away from me that I may smile again!”
But these are not my only prayers. Like the psalmist in the next psalm, 40, I also break into prayers of great joy and thanksgiving. He draws me out of the “miry pit” described above and he gives me new songs and sets my feet on firmer ground.
The real test for all of us comes in verses 8-10 of psalm 40. Do we delight to do God’s will? Are we telling the good news of God’s saving love in “the congregation?” (This is a general term for the gathering of people, not simply those gathered in worship.) Do we continually speak of God’s faithfulness and salvation to others?
David is an open book. He honestly expresses his doubts and fears, but he also enthusiastically expresses his devotion and appreciation. May I be such an open book and be found like, David, to be a person after God’s own heart!