Two proverbs standout for me in this chapter. Perhaps because I need to attend to them more!
The first is verse 2. Praise,when it is about me, in order to be valid, ought to come from someone else’s lips, not my own. When I praise myself it is boasting, it is not praise. And it actually robs another of the chance to praise me. If I say it myself, there is no need for another to say anything. Authentic praise comes from others observing and listening and desiring to express appreciation. When we express appreciation for ourselves it is arrogance! I can be proud of what I have done and know that I have done well and that God is pleased by what I have done. But the proverbs says not to use our own mouth and lips to speak highly of ourselves.
The second proverb that is related, is verses 5 and 6. Praise from strangers is cheap. People that we do not now and that do not really know us can give all sorts of praise. Without relationship, such praise is cheap. But a friend–someone who is with us through thick and thin, good times and bad–is in a position to rebuke us–to correct us when we are wrong. The proverbs says this is more valuable than the praise of a stranger. This is because it is connected to a relationship that knows and understand who we really are. It may hurt–wound us–but it is meant for our good, whereas a stranger’s might feel good, but it lacks credibility because there is no depth to the relationship. A stranger may catch us at our best and be impressed. A friend is with us at our worst and remains committed.
This is not a license to criticize at will. It is encouragement to be honest with our friends–to praise them when we can, and to admonish them when we need to.